Roots are of course what allows a tree to remain standing as it grows up and out so high toward the sky and so perhaps it makes a metaphor of this that their presence allowed me to feel more stable and supported. regardless, it was a wonderful time and I am a little sad to see them go.
A little because, I will miss them, every day, but I also want to move forward in my life on my own.
To that end we have decided to move homes. From rental to rental it is not really ideal but this place has a little more in the way of storage space as well as a larger kitchen.
The biggest reason for the move is a lower rent. There are plenty of mixed blessings surrounding it among which are; discovering that the place has no stove (it was never mentioned that the landlord would be removing it but since we did not request it stay, there you go) and so we will have to purchase one... in addition however, laying down to go to sleep at night it occurred to me that there is no street level access! The front door is at the top of a walkway containing two separate little rises of stairs and the back garden is blocked in by other back gardens.
Moving in will be an ordeal to say the least and I am worried about my father-in-law's back. The last time he helped us move he strained it and he regularly has issues with it. :/
So the question becomes; can we afford to hire movers?
We already have extra expenses that are un-expected; ie: the stove. In addition we are planning on hiring a cleaner to come take care of the move out clean because frankly, between the moving and the kids I know very well I don't have the time or energy for it. The question remains unanswered at present. I hope we can manage the money for it because it's a hard place to move into/out of. Still, at least I know this now and in future can consider such in regards to a property. With a bit of luck and hard work the next time we move (fingers crossed) will be into a home we have bought. I can think of almost nothing I desire more than to have my own home.
In addition to this moving there are plenty of other things amassing upon me; the toddlers and their new nursery school. While it's wonderful to watch them blossom and grow having them in nursery is actually more work and time taken away from me than having them out.
The teenager committed one very stupid act which got him into Big Trouble and we are trying desperately to get him some support and counselling. This is taking for-ever and in addition there is further fall out from the incident throughout the family, including his step-dad and his relationship going from uneasy to down right uncomfortable. Thought in fairness they are both working on that.... the system is trying to help but sort of failing and so I am very frustrated.
There are past debts and current debts and the surrounding environment of near total social isolation since I have moved away from my friends and family. So. What to do?
Ask for aid. Not from the Authority since, we have already done that and they are giving what they can which is proving almost adequate at it's best and feeble in deed at it's worst. (Oh and hey it's bound to get worse in future since lots of lovely cuts are coming thanks Mr. Cameron)
Instead I am looking to The Light. More specifically and recently, to the Unicorns.
Angel research led me almost directly to Unicorns with a little helping hand from my mother and while the other animal spirits are still very present, right now I seem to feel them the easiest and they are obviously here to help. It occurs to me that my sacred space journey has always contained a Unicorn so this should really be no surprise to me. It isn't; it's more a recognition.
So last night, feeling quite overwhelmed, before I went to bed I had the urge to ask something of them using my Magical Unicorn Cards. The question I asked was this :
How did I maintain Inner Peace?
I drew three cards and received the answers/tools in the following order...
Laughter!
Exercise!
Simplicity!
And yes, they all make sense. The first once I laughed at (yes indeed) because it was the one I already knew inherently, exercise brought a wry grin, again one I already knew but I have been a bit slack in keeping up with. Simplicity, while the last is possibly the most important lesson to take from this for me.
I overcomplicate things, take on too much and have a pack rat tendency. I have been feeling for ages that I need to lose a great deal of the baggage (physical and otherwise) that I carry with me and this move, I hope, will provide a wonderful opportunity to work on the physical aspect of that, which will in turn, aid my efforts to simplify my emotional, mental and spiritual environment as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment